Does that mean I’m one of you favorite 10 followers? But aw that is a great timing because my morning has been shit!

So, five positive things about myself!
1. I am finally comfortable in my own body, and I didn’t need to get to a size 10 to do so, like I used to try to.achieve. I am healthy and I look good with this one.

2. I have reached a point where I am able to control my anxiety better than never before and this makes me really happy because I am able to function better.

3. I am a good listener, and I pride myself in wearing my heart on my sleeve.

4. I have stayed abroad for longer than I’ve ever been away from my own house and didn’t give up even when times got so tough I’d cry myself to sleep calling for my dad (it really happened; bad times) and I’m well on my way to complete a whole year!

5. I have stopped caring, completely and truly, about what others might think of my clothes. I will look like the butchest dike ever one day and like a cool hipster the next and no one can make me feel weird about it anymore.

Thanks a lot, that helped.me amber good things about myself! I needed that before I drowned in a puddle of self degradation and anxiety! :D

Alright, this ask has been sitting in my inbox for a few days, and I have been kind of scared to answer it.

I figure I owe y'all an explanation, though, because there are a lot of people following this fanfiction blog, and I don’t want you guys to think that I don’t care. 

I do. I care, like a whole lot.

Which is why I haven’t posted anything in so long. I have not only a big writer’s block (I litteraly could not squeeze out the next chapter of Summer Fades to Fall, it is a total blank, nothing is coming up) but also, I feel like I have moved on from this fandom.

Well, not really the fandom itself, but I have moved on from writing about it, I am not as passionate about it as I used to be, I used up all of my fangirling for this, and although I still adore Pitch Perfect and I still want Bechloe canon and I still think the cast is gold, I am over the fanfiction phase. I didn’t think I would say that, but as much as I love these characters, they do not tickle my imagination as they used to, and my mind is empty of new ways to portray them.

I don’t like to say this, but I have. I have abandoned Summer Fades to Fall. Following through has always been an issue, but I hoped that having people “count” on me would be pressure enough to motivate my inspiration. It seems like that has failed, and I have to say, you guys can be as disappointed in me as you want, you won’t be as disappointed as I am of myself.

I don’t think I will be posting on this blog anytime soon, I am so so sorry to all of you hoping for a comeback of SFTF or WAY, it just doesn’t fit in my life anymore. I just wished it stopped fitting after I finished it.

I can tell you what I had planned for it, though, if anyone’s interested! I could try to do a kind of wrap-up, quick finale, but I can’t promise anything good since I haven’t written anything with fictional characters in a long time.

In other news, the main reason why I have become such a ghost is because my life is moving forward! It actually is starting to go places! After half a year as an Au Pair, I am just recently starting to get a social life, and I am so fucking proud of myself for that, it makes the itch of letting you guys down a little better. I am crippled with social anxiety, but I am going out more, doing things, and actively enjoying my days (although I do take them one at a time). So there’s that, that’s positive, right? That is something to console yourself; the real person behind the fics you like is better at life, and better with herself.

So, I will let you guys to this, I am sorry, again, really. I am not sure yet if I will put everything on FF.net and delete this blog, or just leave it as it is (although since this is my main blog, everytime I send an ask, it sends from this blog, but I have a personal blog (link on my main page, if any of you are interested) and it is confusing to new people, anyway, not relevant).

Again, guys, I apologize, I hope you still enjoyed my fics, and maybe I will see you on my personal blog (which isn’t very active neither, I am just generally not so much on Tumblr anymore, sorry)

Aaah! This warmed up my heart reaaaaal good! Thanks enthusiastic anon :D unfortunately, I can’t tell you when I’ll be putting out the next chapter because life as an au pair took a turn for the better so I’m actually getting to be less lonely and all so my alone time has been cut off greatly!

I have part of the chapter done but I’m not pleased with it so I might just write it from blank again. Anyway, hopefully soon but I can’t give you a date! Life has been crazy busy since I came back from Paris haha your enthusiasm is making me very happy though so I’ll make an effort or a double one and write it as fast as possible :)